special needs, LD, challenged...

I haven't blogged in awhile, so I figured I would write something today.
So, here it is....
The terms special needs, learning disabled, mentally or physically challenged are words that shouldn't be in the world's vocabulary. I understand that we need to describe our weaknesses in some sort of term but these terms make me angry. My children are considered to fall under these terms. If a child has muscular dystrophy, we are made aware of this fact and we focus on it as a people. It's silly in my opinion because maybe the child has many gifts that are overlooked and is lost in this diagnosis. Not that we ignore the muscular dystrophy but we do ignore the compassion the child may have or the level of understanding.
I find that we all have weaknesses, that's human nature but when we focus on these weaknesses and ignore the strengths, nothing gets done. For example: my eldest was told he would never read, always have difficulty with social concepts and end up on welfare. (now, this is where I get to brag) He's a grade ahead in language arts , 2 grades ahead in history, and holding straight A's in his own grade. He's one of the most popular children at his youth group and he's holding his own just fine at his other activities. The YMCA has already offered him a job in the babysitting room when he turns 14 because he is giving, compassionate and responsible. So, there's his academic, socialization and work...
My youngest has the same weaknesses as my oldest with his language and he's 2 grades ahead in math and science and holding his own in his own grade. We do an hour of school and if we keep up at this pace by September of next year he will begin grade 4 overall at 8 years of age. What's the special needs, LD, or challenge there?
When I was growing up I was told I had a 'lazy tongue' that's what they termed speech and language delays back than. I would never read, write, or be good at anything. My father wouldn't hear of such a thing! Both my parents pushed me like any other child. Get your homework done, work hard, be kind to others was our motto growing up. Now, I educate my children, am married to a supportive, (high maintenance-gifted) guy, run a home child care (have been doing that on and off for the last 15 years) and have many good years ahead. I have been offered 2 supervisory positions, an EA position, and a job starting a new youth program within the last 3 months. Turned them down to continue home educating.
My brother was told the same diagnosis, he is presently a mechanical engineer with a 6 figure income. Don't tell him he can't do something, he'll prove you wrong by the end of the day...LOL
Why is that people focus on the negative and just assume that because I am home with my boys that all I do is sit around and watch Soaps (which I hate) and eat bon bons all day. (I wish, I could stand to gain a little weight..lol)
Our day starts at 6 am and ends at 10. I get to sit between 6:30 am and 7:30 am write on this blog or check my websites or surf the web and that's my rest for the day. The remainder of the day is spent on my feet. There is nothing lazy, slothful, or unfocused happening throughout my days. Why would I expect anything less from children?
With their weaknesses and their strengths, they are thriving against all odds! They work hard, play hard, and love hard. I have a good family and I am thankful for them.
I moderate a special needs home education forum and the biggest complaint amoung participants is the fact their children are being told they can't accomplish something. They have weaknesses like anybody else and they do need a little extra help but that doesn't mean they can't hold their own! Their children are home with them because the education system refused to help with an IEP or funding was dispersed poorly, or their child was told they wouldn't live to age 3 and now they are functioning at a level that overwhelm doctors and impress professionals. Why?
Because parents refused to focus on a weakness and decided to push for the strength. Good parenting and love is changing the world, one child at a time.

Special Needs and Common Sense

I have two mildly (I mean extremely mildly) special needs children. They have the same thing I have. Tourette, anxiety, and (well not everything from me)gifted. Now a days to have a disability means funding, labels, Individualized Education Plans(IEP), therapy, and medication. Although many of these things are greatly needed and much appreciated by the child and the parent, it is not always necessary. This is my experience.
My eldest is now 12 years old. When he was 5 years old we enrolled him in the public school system. By the time Christmas came of the same year, he had been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder because of a speech and language delay. He had an IEP, Occupational Therapist and a Speech Therapist. I was being asked if I would consider medication and was told he would never learn to read. "He has limitations today and will always have limitations." That's what every mother wants to hear for their child. Well, intuition told my husband and I that the 'professionals' weren't quite getting it. To make a long story a little shorter, he does not have PDD and he can read 2 grade levels above his. He does have tourette which was found out much later and anxiety which has never been professionally diagnosed, the speech and language delay is completely gone. So what? A few tics and a little printing problem. I'm not worried about it and neither is he.
My youngest (6 years old)has tourette, anxiety and is extremely intelligent. He has never been diagnosed officially for any of it. But sometimes a mom knows best! He has never been in school. He will be receiving speech therapy for his delay next month. He is a grade level ahead in math and is reading at a grade 1 level. His problem solving skills are off the chart!
I have had children with ADD, ADHD, PDD, anxiety, OCD, depression and a slew of behavioural challenges come through my child care. Most parents are very concerned and worried about their children, naturally. They have great difficultly convincing others out there that it's not their parenting that causes these challenges, it's genetics. After a child leaves my care they are more polite, much smarter academically, better social skills, and much more confident in themselves.
The secret? Home Schooling. I refuse to listen to the 'professionals' that say there is no hope. I listen to the professionals that say there is hope. Everyone on this earth has challenges to face. The people with invisible disabilities and the people with visible ones. I don't think there is a person on this earth with out some sort of quark. What I do know is what home schooling has taught me. Perserverance, consistency, hope, organization, routine, and a compliment can go a long way! With less time taken in studies and more time in exploration a child can develop excellent character development, no matter what mould they broke out of.
As a child there was no such thing as IEP's and very few therapists. Children were segregated into separate classes for remedial learning. My parents refused to let that happen to me. I had speech therapy and that was it. I learned to learn. Now a days a disability is almost an excuse instead of a challenge that can be overcome and wonderful things can happen. The greatest example that most people know is Albert Einstein. His mother wouldn't give up on him and he became the greatest minds of all time. He came up with many theories that boggle minds today with his intelligence. Other great minds of home educators are: Benjamin Franklin, Daniel Webster, Winston Churchill, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Pearl Buck, Agatha Christie, C.S.Lewis, and Franklin D. Roosevelt. I'm sure there's more. Many of these were considered problematic in society in their day. But someone believed in them and their own perseverance paid off!
In home child care I see many parents exasperated with the system. Their children have been kicked out of day camps, larger day care centres, and other programs. The smaller child care setting and more one on one have helped with these challenges. There can be too much of a good thing. Like socialization. My children have a bigger social life than I ever had within the education system. They are more polite, have many friends, are compassionate, and much more outgoing than the average. Being there during difficult times have taught them to deal with it and not feel like they are just trying to survive out there in the real world. They are learning adult strategies to deal with different ages and different types of people without discrimination or bullying. These are just a few benefits, that's whole other article!
The secret? Home Schooling. It's not hard, it's not impossible. It's easy and fun!It's a relaxed and calm approach to common sense parenting. If a child isn't ready for the system and would benefit with a little more one on one. Then Home schooling provides an instant IEP and parents expect more out of their children (for example, my children need 80% or more for a passing grade) and would never give up on them! I am not against public school, many children and families do great in them! What I am against are the people who give up on a child because they have a little challenge that they don't have time for, or are embarrassed of, or just don't understand.
I guess I have a real heart for the lost. Like bringing home a stray and turning it into a show dog. LOL I know that's a terrible analogy but it's the only way I think of to express my point.
To my children who have already beat the system and have come out with flying colours! They don't have disabilities. They have gifts! Mom loves you guys!